Why Women Aren't Funny
Really? Really, Really?
Look, I've got a lot of shit to do today but I'll be back later to comment on this BULLSHIT.
There's an email link at the end of this article and I encourage each of you to write this twit.
All right, I've had a little time to mull it over after taking FIERCE offense to the article. In all my dealings I try to be honest and fair. Biased injustice goes up my spine and can set me off like nothing else. Let me say, for those who do not know me well on a personal level, I am not a feminist. I am a humanist. I tend to root for the underdog because in all things I crave and believe in an even playing field. So I look to even the scales always. Sure there are things in life that each gender is better equipped for, but in modern society those things are few and they RARELY apply to the working world. Before I get into SHREDDING this twists argumentative article, I would like to point out that any woman in a male dominated field has her work cut out for her. She has to work twice as hard for half the credit, which means she has to work FOUR times as hard to be equal, and when she does, she's called "unreasonable", "heartless", "frigid", and the ever so frequent "Bitch". Well, if my ability to out do someone in my field because I worked HARDER than they did to get there makes me a bitch, then call me "BITCHASAURUSREX" and watch your ass or you'll get eaten.
If ANYONE has to work FOUR times as hard as others to get where they are they're more than likely spread a little thin and of course they're going to be a bit "bitchy". It's often said that female bosses are real hard asses. They have to be. Women in leadership roles HAVE to stay on top of things because if they let ONE thing slip or ONE thing goes wrong, the backlash always involves the phrase, "Women weren't cut out for this kind of work" or, my personal favorite, "Don't send a woman in to do a man's job." A woman who works in a male dominated field always has her job at risk because she's a girl. Thankfully the world is changing, but it's still a long, long road.
Now, I'm long winded, as most of you know by now. But I rarely say anything unless it's worth saying and this is going to be a long blog… But well worth the read, so grab a refreshing beverage of you choice, make some time and pull up a chair. I've put a lot of thought into this one.
This Twit wrote a 3-page article on the subject of unfunny women. So I'll begin with page 1.
1 "Why are women, who have the whole male world at their mercy, not funny?"
- Probably because the dink who wrote this is too stupid to get the joke.
I read an article in Discover Magazine a couple of years ago about I.Q. Women, on average, have an I.Q. that is 2-3 points higher than the male I.Q. Quick wit and sharp humor are signs of intelligence. I've been doing stand up for nearly a decade and more women come out to see live comedy than men do. A woman puts a good sense of humor on her list of requirements for a mate mostly because it shows her she's not dating an idiot. He might be an asshole, but he's not an idiot. Women tend to have a more developed sense of humor, which naturally makes us pickier about it. So as a female who tells jokes for a living and putting my material out in front of a crowd that is mostly female, I know I have to step it up.
2 "…Indeed, we now have all the joy of a scientific study, which illuminates the difference. At the Stanford University School of Medicine… researchers showed 10 men and 10 women a sample of 70 black-and-white cartoons and got them to rate the gags on a "funniness scale.
' To annex for a moment the fall-about language of the report as it was summarized in Biotech Week:
The researchers found that men and women share much of the same humor-response system; both use to a similar degree the part of the brain responsible for semantic knowledge and juxtaposition and the part involved in language processing. But they also found that some brain regions were activated more in women. These included the left prefrontal cortex, suggesting a greater emphasis on language and executive processing in women, and the nucleus accumbens … which is part of the mesolimbic reward center.' "
- Uh… What? In all seriousness, did this guy really dig up a scientific study as an example or as a confusing distraction? Basically some science guy was trying to understand what makes the different genders laugh, probably because he has no idea how to make anyone laugh, so he showed the funny pages to an equal group of both men and women. The findings were that in order to impress a girl you gotta talk to her. Well DUH! "…greater emphasis on language and executive processing in women…" All I can say is: Kathleen Madigan, Female Comic of the year 1996 and Margaret Cho, Female Comic of the year 1994. Cho sells out ARENAS and plays clubs only to work out her NEW shit.
3 The report also found that "women were quicker at identifying material they considered unfunny."
-You bet your ass…
4 Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence. Men will laugh at almost anything, often precisely because it is—or they are—extremely stupid. Women aren't like that. And the wits and comics among them are formidable beyond compare…
-This explains Dane Cook and Andrew "Dice" Clay. As well as Olivia Arrington, Caroline Picard, Brett Butler, Molly Ivans, Debbie Gutierrez, Erma Bombeck, Alyshia Wood, Elvira Kurt, Kathleen Madigan, Margaret Cho, Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, Phylis Diller (that lampshade crack STILL kills me.), Ellen DeGeneres, and MANY more – ALL FUCKING FORMIDABLE! I'd love to see a throw down between Phylis Diller and Andrew Clay. Andrew Clay was never on Scooby – Doo!!!
5 In any case, my argument doesn't say that there are no decent women comedians. There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.
-Now this just PISSED ME OFF. First off there are actually MORE UNFUNNY GUYS by DEFAULT. There are more male comics by a LANDSLIDE and there are a TON more unfunny fucks among 'em. The last part of that statement is just plain fucked up. Basically he's saying you either have to be fat, gay, or a Jew to get laughs as a chick. That's one of the most woman hater statements I've read in a while. Basically saying you have to be flawed to be funny, you have to be unattractive, and you have to be manly. All this mean spirited shit coming from a guy who writes like he wishes he were a girl and despises the fact that he's not. "Christopher Hitchens is a Vanity Fair contributing editor." Isn't Vanity Fair mainly a WOMENS magazine? And a contributing EDITOR wrote this article? This periodical is obviously self-deprecating. As if women weren't told often enough that they aren't good enough. Fuck… I'm flabbergasted.
6 Probe a little deeper, though, and you will see what Nietzsche meant when he described a witticism as an epitaph on the death of a feeling. Male humor prefers the laugh to be at someone's expense, and understands that life is quite possibly a joke to begin with—and often a joke in extremely poor taste. Humor is part of the armor-plate with which to resist what is already farcical enough. (Perhaps not by coincidence, battered as they are by motherfucking nature, men tend to refer to life itself as a bitch.) Whereas women, bless their tender hearts, would prefer that life be fair, and even sweet, rather than the sordid mess it actually is.
-Oh, oh now I see what his little problem is. He's a whiner. "Poor, me. Life isn't fair. Why don't women realize that life isn't fair? Mother Nature is mean to me and plays nasty jokes and hates me. Oh. Woe Is Me!" What happened? Did a tree fall on your car on a bright sunny day? Some lady break your heart and laugh in your ill-humored face? If it's anyone who knows how unfuckingfair life is, it's a damn woman! Delve into history a bit, look around you, and open your damn eyes! More women raise their children ALONE than men, more women are abused than men are, more women have to fight for an equal spot in the work world than men do, more women are paid less for the same damn job! AND LESS WOMEN COMPLIAN ABOUT THEIR LOT IN LIFE WHEN THEY SHOULD BE SCREAMING. But most of us have way too much dignity and self respect so we do it on our own and ask you for nothing without complaint. Most women know if your life is a mess IT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM AND YOURS TO FIX. Sounds like the chick he was dating or perhaps married to or even cheating with got tired of picking up after him and he seems to think it's a woman's place to do so. He needs to deal with his shit. And he doesn't know the first thing about Frederick Nietzsche… "A JOKE is the epitaph on the death of PAIN." Which is something different and much, much deeper… And funnier. Look, Christopher, if you can't deal with life's tumbles and it all sucks, don't go off half cocked in a women's mag about how unfair it is. Go blow your brains out like a real man. Or perhaps like comic Patricia Hamilton puts it, "He's ain't got the NERVE to die…" See, women ARE funny. That was hilarious.
7 Precisely because humor is a sign of intelligence (and many women believe, or were taught by their mothers, that they become threatening to men if they appear too bright), it could be that in some way men do not want women to be funny. They want them as an audience, not as rivals. And there is a huge, brimming reservoir of male unease, which it would be too easy for women to exploit. (Men can tell jokes about what happened to John Wayne Bobbitt, but they don't want women doing so.) Men have prostate glands, hysterically enough, and these have a tendency to give out, along with their hearts and, it has to be said, their dicks. This is funny only in male company.
- Yep. I was just in a contest where I had to follow a guy who did an 8-minute dissertation on PMS. Why is it that guys can get away with masturbation jokes, dick jokes, prostate jokes, women so crazy jokes, so drunk I fucked the ugliest chick in the county jokes and that's all fine and dandy. BUT when women talk about their breasts, or PMS, or menopause, or childbirth, or aging, or gaining weight, or not wanting to have sex when he wants to… IT'S NOT FUNNY, IT'S CHICK HUMOR! Fuck your double standard. I'm tired of hackassed dick / nutsack humor and so are most CHICKS.
8 …But this is so rare as to be like Dr. Johnson's comparison of a woman preaching to a dog walking on its hind legs: the surprise is that it is done at all.
-This dude is such a misquoting DILT! The line is: "A female preacher is like teaching a dog to walk only on it's hind legs. It's novel, but it serves no purpose…" I've lost count of how many KNOWN misogynist he's MIS-quoted in his 3 page tirade.
9 If I am correct about this, which I am, then the explanation for the superior funniness of men is much the same as for the inferior funniness of women. Men have to pretend, to themselves as well as to women, that they are not the servants and supplicants. Women, cunning minxes that they are, have to affect not to be the potentates.
-So arrogant he can't even comprehend how wrong he is.
10 Anyway, after a certain stage women came to the conclusion that men were actually necessary, and the old form of matriarchy came to a close.
-Matriarchy is still alive and well, though much less respected.
11 Humor, if we are to be serious about it, arises from the ineluctable fact that we are all born into a losing struggle.
12 Good grief! Is there anything less funny than hearing a woman relate a dream she's just had?
-A whining pussy.
13 My beloved said to me, when I told her I was going to have to address this melancholy topic, that I should cheer up because "women get funnier as they get older."
Observation suggests to me that this might indeed be true, but, excuse me, isn't that rather a long time to have to wait?
-You wife was abused as a child… And your mother failed you.
My 2 cents,